i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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