I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
