The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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