Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
