we made out on top of his cat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
