hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
