So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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