Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
