I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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