If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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