that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no you cant smoke seaweed
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
