My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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