apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
