it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
