You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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