I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
