Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
is that a dick in a sweater?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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