No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
