The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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