My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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