I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
