The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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