is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When are your genitals available?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I had to cum in my sink.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize