I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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