And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
