And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
