Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
