This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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