Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
