Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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