someone owes me an orgasm
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
