you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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