you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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