i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
