yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
