he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
