only you would photoshop your dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
