I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
