Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
