dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
