i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
