I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
