Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We got so high we made milksteak
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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