I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize