I bet he comes in French.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
