It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
