I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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