if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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