Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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