his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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