whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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