YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
