I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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