so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
