he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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