Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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