I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize