All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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