He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
