I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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